He is a Master Knight, a Council member, the Negotiator, the Jedi who killed a Sith and the Master of the Chosen One but all of this is for nothing when he is caught in a very compromising situation with his clone commander.
Literally.
On holovid.
Which is promptly paused at a very unflattering moment when he is summoned before the Council - that he is technically *on*! - and taken to task for this breach in ethics and violation of the Code.
He tries not to look at where the little blue version of him has his head thrown back, Cody's mouth on his throat and one hand quite far down the front of his leggings. He remembers distinctly what it feels like but it is rather a private image and this is a very public forum.
"How do you explain your actions?" Depa asks.
He opens his mouth and he isn't entirely sure exactly what he's going to say. The Master Jedi is possibly going to say something about ending this unsanctioned relationship and resuming his duty as a proper knight should. The Negotiator is probably going to say that they are in the midst of war and unexpected situations arise all the time. Obi-Wan Kenobi is definitely not going to be allowed to say that Cody is a good man, a good commander, and a very, very good lover.
Sadly, when Yoda said that he had too much of his Master's defiance in him, he wasn't lying. Obi-Wan's been taught stubbornness and self-determination by a man who had enough strength of will to flatten an in-ground bunker. He knows very well he's about to put his foot in his mouth and blow off the venerable Jedi High Council.
Luckily, he doesn't get the chance.
Anakin comes striding in.
Followed, Obi-Wan notices, by a whole battalion of Jedi Masters currently operating under the title of Generals.
A part of him is a little concerned. If they're all here, who in the Force's name is out there fighting this Sith-spawned war?
The rest of him is somewhat more concerned by the fact that his little blue image is still being obscenely groped in front of everyone by Cody. He doesn't think he'll be able to look anyone in the eye when this is done.
A mon calamari with large silver eyes steps forward from the crowd. "Respected Council," she says, her voice clear, "We seek an audience."
"Bant?" Obi-Wan recognises.
She directs a quick, personal smile at him - "Hello, Obi-Wan."
"This is unacceptable," Ki-Adi-Mundi protests. He rises from his chair and addresses the throng. "You will be required to leave immediately! This is a closed session."
Anakin folds his arms and lowers his head bullishly. "Oh, we're not going anywhere, Master."
Obi-Wan reflects that his former Padawan also has a not inconsiderable amount of defiance in him. Frankly, he's ready to blame Dooku for this fault in their training lineage and be done with it.
"What is going on?" he asks, finally settling on something he really, really wants to know.
Bant lays a hand on his arm. "Anakin told us what's happened. We're here to speak on this matter."
Obi-Wan flushes. "Bant, you didn't need to drag all these people down here! I made a mistake and I will accept the consequences."
She shakes her head wryly.
Luminara Unduli speaks up from the centre of the group. "Actually, Obi-Wan, none of us knew the others were coming. We just happened to meet in the anti-chamber outside."
"And," Bant adds, "We're all here to accept our consequences."
Anakin grins. "They'll have to punish all or none, my Master."
Obi-Wan blinks. "I... You are aware of what I'm charged with, yes?"
Luminara is every inch the serene and self-possessed Master and General she always is. "I have been having it off on every available flat surface with Clone Commander CC-1004."
Obi-Wan feels his jaw slacken. Though thankfully it does not drop.
"Gree has a very talented tongue," Luminara confides.
Loud enough to be heard by everyone.
"It must be an inherent genetic trait," Bant agrees, "Clone Commander CC-673 is also very... stimulating."
Obi-Wan stares at the entire group of them. And then looks accusingly at Anakin.
"Don't tell me," he says, "Rex?"
Anakin holds up his hands. "Actually, Rex isn't my type. I'm just here to support you, Obi-Wan."
"We all are," Kit Fisto avers.
He leaves the crowd to stand beside Obi-Wan, arms crossed and head high.
Bant takes her place silently beside her old Master, and Luminara joins them.
One by one they all stand with him.
He's beyond every possible realm of shock when Mace and Eeth Koth also rise slowly from their chairs.
"In the circumstances," Mace says gruffly, "I believe my objectivity is compromised on this matter."
Obi-Wan stares very hard at Yoda, but is immensely thankful that the Grand Master of their Order stays firmly seated. He doesn't think he'd survive figuring out that Yoda of all people has also been - as Luminara put it - 'having it off on every available flat surface with a clone commander'.
He barely wants to think of Mace having it off.
And then he is thinking of Mace having it off.
And he just knows that Anakin is going to burst something when this is over and they're allowed to laugh about it. Except he doubts he ever will because that Sith-damned holovid is still exhibiting an extremely private moment in a very inappropriate manner for everyone in the room to see and now that his shame is driven out by his shock, he sees only one course of action open to him.
He walks over to the holovid and turns it off.
"I propose," he says, "That we all forget this ever happened."
Mace and Eeth look at each other. "So moved," they chorus together.
Bant and Kit Fisto both grin. Luminara looks decidedly happy.
And then Anakin says, "Well, my tastes don't run to clone commanders but I am happily married to Senator Amidala. I officially announce this fact to the Council. Oh, and she's pregnant."
FILL: Jedi/clones (Obi-Wan/ Cody)
Literally.
On holovid.
Which is promptly paused at a very unflattering moment when he is summoned before the Council - that he is technically *on*! - and taken to task for this breach in ethics and violation of the Code.
He tries not to look at where the little blue version of him has his head thrown back, Cody's mouth on his throat and one hand quite far down the front of his leggings. He remembers distinctly what it feels like but it is rather a private image and this is a very public forum.
"How do you explain your actions?" Depa asks.
He opens his mouth and he isn't entirely sure exactly what he's going to say. The Master Jedi is possibly going to say something about ending this unsanctioned relationship and resuming his duty as a proper knight should. The Negotiator is probably going to say that they are in the midst of war and unexpected situations arise all the time. Obi-Wan Kenobi is definitely not going to be allowed to say that Cody is a good man, a good commander, and a very, very good lover.
Sadly, when Yoda said that he had too much of his Master's defiance in him, he wasn't lying. Obi-Wan's been taught stubbornness and self-determination by a man who had enough strength of will to flatten an in-ground bunker. He knows very well he's about to put his foot in his mouth and blow off the venerable Jedi High Council.
Luckily, he doesn't get the chance.
Anakin comes striding in.
Followed, Obi-Wan notices, by a whole battalion of Jedi Masters currently operating under the title of Generals.
A part of him is a little concerned. If they're all here, who in the Force's name is out there fighting this Sith-spawned war?
The rest of him is somewhat more concerned by the fact that his little blue image is still being obscenely groped in front of everyone by Cody. He doesn't think he'll be able to look anyone in the eye when this is done.
A mon calamari with large silver eyes steps forward from the crowd. "Respected Council," she says, her voice clear, "We seek an audience."
"Bant?" Obi-Wan recognises.
She directs a quick, personal smile at him - "Hello, Obi-Wan."
"This is unacceptable," Ki-Adi-Mundi protests. He rises from his chair and addresses the throng. "You will be required to leave immediately! This is a closed session."
Anakin folds his arms and lowers his head bullishly. "Oh, we're not going anywhere, Master."
Obi-Wan reflects that his former Padawan also has a not inconsiderable amount of defiance in him. Frankly, he's ready to blame Dooku for this fault in their training lineage and be done with it.
"What is going on?" he asks, finally settling on something he really, really wants to know.
Bant lays a hand on his arm. "Anakin told us what's happened. We're here to speak on this matter."
Obi-Wan flushes. "Bant, you didn't need to drag all these people down here! I made a mistake and I will accept the consequences."
She shakes her head wryly.
Luminara Unduli speaks up from the centre of the group. "Actually, Obi-Wan, none of us knew the others were coming. We just happened to meet in the anti-chamber outside."
"And," Bant adds, "We're all here to accept our consequences."
Anakin grins. "They'll have to punish all or none, my Master."
Obi-Wan blinks. "I... You are aware of what I'm charged with, yes?"
Luminara is every inch the serene and self-possessed Master and General she always is. "I have been having it off on every available flat surface with Clone Commander CC-1004."
Obi-Wan feels his jaw slacken. Though thankfully it does not drop.
"Gree has a very talented tongue," Luminara confides.
Loud enough to be heard by everyone.
"It must be an inherent genetic trait," Bant agrees, "Clone Commander CC-673 is also very... stimulating."
Obi-Wan stares at the entire group of them. And then looks accusingly at Anakin.
"Don't tell me," he says, "Rex?"
Anakin holds up his hands. "Actually, Rex isn't my type. I'm just here to support you, Obi-Wan."
"We all are," Kit Fisto avers.
He leaves the crowd to stand beside Obi-Wan, arms crossed and head high.
Bant takes her place silently beside her old Master, and Luminara joins them.
One by one they all stand with him.
He's beyond every possible realm of shock when Mace and Eeth Koth also rise slowly from their chairs.
"In the circumstances," Mace says gruffly, "I believe my objectivity is compromised on this matter."
Obi-Wan stares very hard at Yoda, but is immensely thankful that the Grand Master of their Order stays firmly seated. He doesn't think he'd survive figuring out that Yoda of all people has also been - as Luminara put it - 'having it off on every available flat surface with a clone commander'.
He barely wants to think of Mace having it off.
And then he is thinking of Mace having it off.
And he just knows that Anakin is going to burst something when this is over and they're allowed to laugh about it. Except he doubts he ever will because that Sith-damned holovid is still exhibiting an extremely private moment in a very inappropriate manner for everyone in the room to see and now that his shame is driven out by his shock, he sees only one course of action open to him.
He walks over to the holovid and turns it off.
"I propose," he says, "That we all forget this ever happened."
Mace and Eeth look at each other. "So moved," they chorus together.
Bant and Kit Fisto both grin. Luminara looks decidedly happy.
And then Anakin says, "Well, my tastes don't run to clone commanders but I am happily married to Senator Amidala. I officially announce this fact to the Council. Oh, and she's pregnant."
Obi-Wan sighs.
He definitely blames Dooku, he thinks darkly.