Knighthood wasn't what Obi-Wan expected, nothing was how he had imagined it. Qui-Gon wasn't still around to ask for advise. There were no solo missions for him to be sent on and there wouldn't be any for some time. He always envisioned taking a Padawan after a few years of being a Jedi not before he had been properly Knighted. The death of his own master weighed heavily on him and the grieving process was made so much worse by the reactions at the temper.
Word spread quickly among the other Jedi making life more difficult for Obi-Wan and Anakin. Unfortunately Qui-Gons' belief that Anakin was the chosen one had been known before they returned to Naboo. Many still scoffed that this was another one of Qui-Gon Jinns' crazy quest that he guilted his Padawan into with his dying breath. Others wondered why Obi-Wan would be allowed to train what could very well be the greatest Jedi in their order.
Great things were already expected out of a boy that hadn't even been trained yet. The pressure to be perfect wasn't just placed on Anakin though. Everyone knew Obi-Wan had slain a Sith Lord and the pestering was starting to wear thin. Many young Knights and older Padawans wanted to spar against him to test their might. Obi-Wan had refused only to hear them telling others the "Sith-Slayer" thought he was too good for them.
Thus far the new master and apprentice were putting their living quarters together. Their bond was still at a fragile stage with them both struggling with their new lives.
Sleep wasn't coming easy for Obi-Wan, he kept thinking of Qui-Gons' death and the weight of his new life. All Padawans had grown up dreaming of defeating a Sith and the glory that came with it. Everyone in the temple knew his story but all Obi-Wan could think of was the cost of his fame. There was still so much to do and it felt like everyone was judging them. He had tried to shield Anakin from most of it with mixed results. Sorrow radiated from Anakins' room and after a moment of hesitation he knocked.
"Anakin, may I come in?"
"...Y-yes, Master."
The glow of the lamp caught Anakins' face before he could hide it. He looked scared and ashamed. Alarm filled Obi-Wan at the sight, had something happen without him knowing? Was his Padawan scared of him?
"What's wrong?"
Biting his lip Anakin tried to look away and cried harder when Obi-Wan titled his chin up.
"You're going to be mad. E-everyone told me w-w-what a Jedi is supposed to be. I'm already bad at it." Little hiccups joined his sobs.
"I won't get mad, Anakin. Just tell me what happened." He absently wiped away the tears wishing he could take away the pain just as easily.
"I miss my mom." He whispered guiltily. "They said I should stop worrying about her--that I'm not supposed to care--!"
"Anakin, no. They don't mean you're not supposed to feel just that Jedi aren't supposed to have attachments." Obi-Wan wondered if the Jedi code would make sense to a child who hadn't been born in the order.
"W-Why? I don't understand." The boy looked so lost it broke his heart.
"I know. In the past Jedi have made bad choices because of their attachments to others. Many turned to the dark side because of their fears. Over time they only cared about what was best for themselves ended up dooming everyone else."
"So we're being punished for others mistakes?"
Obi-Wan almost laughed at the childish pout. "Well that's one way of looking at it but it's really to prevent such tragedies from occurring again."
Out of no where Anakin hugged him, it was so sudden that he wasn't prepared for it. "It's not fair! I miss her like you miss Qui-Gon. They won't let us..."
The Jedi tensed. He had loved Qui-Gon like a father and he knew it would take time to get through the grieving process. Perhaps he needed to explain this another way.
"Letting go of someone doesn't mean you stop caring about them." He brought his arms around the boy to return the hug. "Your mother loves you and wanted what's best for you. She was happy to see you on your way to becoming a Jedi, wasn't she?'
Anakin nodded.
"In the end that's what all parents want." Obi-Wan rested his cheek on the spiky head musing how they were the only master and Padawan with matching hair cuts. Such a silly thought to think.
"Just like Qui-Gons' wanted you to be happy, right?"
The Jedi nodded knowing Anakin felt the movement.
"...I miss how she used to sing to me at night. Does that make me a baby?"
"No, everyone gets homesick."
Obi-Wan held onto Anakin as he let the last of his tears fall. A gentle tune slowly rose as Obi-Wan sang the boy to sleep. When he was done his own body was too tired to move so he allowed himself to rest for the first time since his masters' death.
The Path Of a Jedi
Knighthood wasn't what Obi-Wan expected, nothing was how he had imagined it. Qui-Gon wasn't still around to ask for advise. There were no solo missions for him to be sent on and there wouldn't be any for some time. He always envisioned taking a Padawan after a few years of being a Jedi not before he had been properly Knighted. The death of his own master weighed heavily on him and the grieving process was made so much worse by the reactions at the temper.
Word spread quickly among the other Jedi making life more difficult for Obi-Wan and Anakin. Unfortunately Qui-Gons' belief that Anakin was the chosen one had been known before they returned to Naboo. Many still scoffed that this was another one of Qui-Gon Jinns' crazy quest that he guilted his Padawan into with his dying breath. Others wondered why Obi-Wan would be allowed to train what could very well be the greatest Jedi in their order.
Great things were already expected out of a boy that hadn't even been trained yet. The pressure to be perfect wasn't just placed on Anakin though. Everyone knew Obi-Wan had slain a Sith Lord and the pestering was starting to wear thin. Many young Knights and older Padawans wanted to spar against him to test their might. Obi-Wan had refused only to hear them telling others the "Sith-Slayer" thought he was too good for them.
Thus far the new master and apprentice were putting their living quarters together. Their bond was still at a fragile stage with them both struggling with their new lives.
Sleep wasn't coming easy for Obi-Wan, he kept thinking of Qui-Gons' death and the weight of his new life. All Padawans had grown up dreaming of defeating a Sith and the glory that came with it. Everyone in the temple knew his story but all Obi-Wan could think of was the cost of his fame. There was still so much to do and it felt like everyone was judging them. He had tried to shield Anakin from most of it with mixed results. Sorrow radiated from Anakins' room and after a moment of hesitation he knocked.
"Anakin, may I come in?"
"...Y-yes, Master."
The glow of the lamp caught Anakins' face before he could hide it. He looked scared and ashamed. Alarm filled Obi-Wan at the sight, had something happen without him knowing? Was his Padawan scared of him?
"What's wrong?"
Biting his lip Anakin tried to look away and cried harder when Obi-Wan titled his chin up.
"You're going to be mad. E-everyone told me w-w-what a Jedi is supposed to be. I'm already bad at it." Little hiccups joined his sobs.
"I won't get mad, Anakin. Just tell me what happened." He absently wiped away the tears wishing he could take away the pain just as easily.
"I miss my mom." He whispered guiltily. "They said I should stop worrying about her--that I'm not supposed to care--!"
"Anakin, no. They don't mean you're not supposed to feel just that Jedi aren't supposed to have attachments." Obi-Wan wondered if the Jedi code would make sense to a child who hadn't been born in the order.
"W-Why? I don't understand." The boy looked so lost it broke his heart.
"I know. In the past Jedi have made bad choices because of their attachments to others. Many turned to the dark side because of their fears. Over time they only cared about what was best for themselves ended up dooming everyone else."
"So we're being punished for others mistakes?"
Obi-Wan almost laughed at the childish pout. "Well that's one way of looking at it but it's really to prevent such tragedies from occurring again."
Out of no where Anakin hugged him, it was so sudden that he wasn't prepared for it. "It's not fair! I miss her like you miss Qui-Gon. They won't let us..."
The Jedi tensed. He had loved Qui-Gon like a father and he knew it would take time to get through the grieving process. Perhaps he needed to explain this another way.
"Letting go of someone doesn't mean you stop caring about them." He brought his arms around the boy to return the hug. "Your mother loves you and wanted what's best for you. She was happy to see you on your way to becoming a Jedi, wasn't she?'
Anakin nodded.
"In the end that's what all parents want." Obi-Wan rested his cheek on the spiky head musing how they were the only master and Padawan with matching hair cuts. Such a silly thought to think.
"Just like Qui-Gons' wanted you to be happy, right?"
The Jedi nodded knowing Anakin felt the movement.
"...I miss how she used to sing to me at night. Does that make me a baby?"
"No, everyone gets homesick."
Obi-Wan held onto Anakin as he let the last of his tears fall. A gentle tune slowly rose as Obi-Wan sang the boy to sleep. When he was done his own body was too tired to move so he allowed himself to rest for the first time since his masters' death.